Healing and Coming to Terms with Multiple Webpage Disorder
MWD Diagnostic Criteria
Please note: I am not a doctor nor a server administrator and the following
should not be substituted for professional
help. If you think you may have MWD, seek intervention right away.
I am presenting this page in order to educate people about a very real problem plaguing net-enabled citizens
today.*
It is a mental illness called Multiple Webpage Disorder (MWD). MWD is more common than
once believed. You may have never heard of this distracting, time-consuming disorder. You may have it and
not even know. This page is to help educate you and help you if you are, like me, a victim of MWD.
In order to help you determine if you might need professional
help, I am presenting the following diagnostic criteria.
Multiple Webpage Disorder
The following symptoms must be present before a diagnosis can be made.
- HTML, javascript, java or other source code dependency: detailed knowledge of one or more
webpage creation languages for two or more months must be present leading to social, occupational or medical
impairment through one (or more) of the following:
- is unable to speak without using tags in preferred source code
- frequently dreams in a web language
- is kept from work, family or other responsibilities through webpage upkeep
- can only communicate through typing
- Withdrawal symptoms: must experience two (or more) of the following when experiencing
prolonged periods without webpage editing:
- frantically writes down page ideas, lengths of source code, or the word QWERTY on various surfaces
- goes through the motions of typing while talking even while away from the computer and is
frequently shown to use two (or more) of the following symbols: <, /, >, { and/or }
- rereads already memorized books on various source codes or impulsively buys new books to
expand knowledge
- Grandiose sense of self-importance: believes he or she is special or crucial to the internet (for
example, refers to self with the title "webmaster" or "webmistress"; believes that if his or her actions in updating
or participating in upkeep of a webpage are interupted, many, perhaps hundreds, of people will be disappointed; expects to
be recognized with various website awards; thinks of self as an HTML or other source code guru)
- Keeps more than one webpage: must have two (or more) frequently updated or extensive
homepages and obsessively tries to come up with ideas for a new site; may be accompanied by forgetfulness of where various pages are located or how many webpages are actually kept or involved in
* I am also doing this because I am a sufferer of this problem, and hope to help others suffering from this debilitating disorder.
For details on my own struggle with this disorder, please visit my webpages.
Warning: May be triggering to MWD sufferers.
Disclaimer: This is meant to be a humorous spoof on so-called "internet addiction" and the degenerative effects web-design has on a person's social life. It is not meant to be offensive in any way. The "diagnostic criteria" are loosely modeled after DSM-IV (psychiatric diagnoses manual), and MWD is not meant to make fun of mental health in any way.
A note on the former MWD clique.
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